Thursday, December 3, 2009

@!#$%^

I AM SO EXHAUSTED.
i really dont know why teachers think its fun to make the last three weeks of a semester a living hell. like if you had done this in the beginning nooo problem but seriously? all thats on my mind is winter break, christmas, and sleeping.

the chances of me studying for my finals are so slim.

this weekend is going to suck. friday i have to babysit around my home which is an hour away soo i'll drive there, babysit till like 11 soo friday night is shot. thennn saturday i have to babysit again but around doylestown so its another hour here and there goes saturday night. sunday my parents want me to come home and decorate but like... really? seriously? another hour drive? we'll see.


soo gotta do my bio exam now thats due at 11:45 tonight. so.tired.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

knick knacks

I can't see the beauty of a plastic Easter egg. The kind that opens so you can shove mini reeses and twix in. When I buy something and it comes in a small insignificant box I naturally throw it out. The ribbons, bows, and wrapping paper that comes with Christmas are also thrown away. As I crinkle up the paper and step on the boxes to fit in the plastic trash bag I think of how my grandmother would literally be rolling in her grave. I'm not like her though, I don't see the beauty and purpose of everything on this earth the way she did.

She would take a tiny box and create a landscape of whatever she felt inside of it. She would spread the boxes around her house and when I was little I'd run around her house peeking into the lids to find miniature worlds created inside them. My favorite were the ones she put out around Easter. Inside them were hundreds of tiny felt flowers she cut out herself with bunnies strewn across the flowers. She always lavishly decorated the outside of the box tempting you to peek into each one. Sometimes you'd just find a small wonder inside like a pocket watch or a tiny silver spoon. My grandmother had an innate ability to turn something bland into something spectacular.

She was known for making people pull over when driving and take in the scenery. Each time she'd say "Isn't this the most glorious day you have ever seen?" Her ability to love each day stemmed from the unfortunate fact that she was riddled with sickness after sickness since she was twelve but what made her so beautiful was her ability to look past that and just see and live in the day she had in front of her.

When I was younger she and I would go on long walks in the woods. She made me be quite and absorb the atmosphere and just walk. When you're seven, it kinda sucks not being able to try to run into piles of leaves or jump on a tree stump and shout "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!" But I obeyed her and listened. Various times we'd find ourselves so still that deer would roam around us unafraid.

I was young when she died. I can't remember her as well as I'd like to. My favorite compliment is when my family members gush on about how I am just like her. To be honest, I can't remember her well enough to agree with them but every time I think I am losing the memory of her I find myself taking daily walks through the woods.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

thanksgiving break

thanksgiving was so nice. i spent the whole day cooking with my mom and close friend thennn had a really good dinner with some family.

we also got a puppy over thanksgiving. Her name is Bella and she is soooo adorable. she is a bernese mountain dog anddd i love her.

i also went to see new moon over break to see what all the fuss is about and well i've discovered that IT IS SO BAD. SERIOUSLY. i honestly considered leaving the theater early but didnt want my money go to completeee waste. i couldn't believe it and am now thoroughly confused about how a couple of hot guys in a movie can make people go so nuts and not see the utter bullshit.

my friend had a bonfire saturday and i got to see some people that i havent seen for like a year. it was reallyyy nice. although while creating the bonfire we almost burned down molly's house. minor detail of course.

Monday, November 16, 2009

blahblogblah

today i went shopping. i rediscovered nordstom rack which is just like insane discounts on niiice clothes. i got so much stuff. always a good time.

i try to run everyday. i'm usually pretty good at doing it consistently. although today on my run my ankle decided to give out completely and now its realllyyy swollen and kinda not fun to walk on. my senior year in this same ankle i tore a ligament and had to wear a cast for 6 weeks. two out of those six weeks i was in costa rica. I was in one of the most secluded areas of my life with no electricity, no warm water, and no one spoke english aside from the 3 girls i went there with. I was there volunteering in Gandoca, Costa Rica trying to preserve the leatherback sea turtle. I still managed to be a big help which i didnt think I would be due to the whole cast thing. theres a lot you can do hobbling around. it was absolutely incredible though seeing a leatherback lay eggs and then being on patrol every night to ensure that poachers wouldnt harm them. I could write for ages about my trip to costa rica and how it was one of the coolest experiences in my life.

im totally procrastinating. i have so much homework that i have seriously been staring at for hours now.

my family is getting a new puppy this sunday. i am SO excited. she's sooo cute.

i really just want this week to be over but its only monday so thats awesome. i'm just so sick of doing work right now. a break would be awesome.

Monday, November 9, 2009

monday

I keep forgetting to blog! I suck.
i usually dont like mondays but i spent the entire day painting my room at my apartment. i really suck at painting. especially being 4'10 and having a tiny step stool. i kept trying to like stand on books or balance from my bed but i kept falling. i like the paint color though so i'm happy with it.

my weekend was pretty good. i was really just with the boyfriend the whole time :)
i cant believe its november and like almost thanksgiving thennn christmas. kinda excited for christmas break. it really cant come soon enough.

i'll be sure to blog more when i'm not out of it.

Monday, October 19, 2009

stop this train

i'm so happy the rain went away. I thoroughly enjoyed the sun today.

my weekend was pretty good. i went to visit my best friend in north philly FINALLY. she bought this house in august and i have been trying to visit her for so long. i also had my other close friend visit from nashville and it was awesome to see her as usual.

today is just a stressful day. i am really struggling trying to figure out what it is exactly that i want to do. I can't settle with a major and when I think of a career outside of college I am completely confused. nothing seems to be exciting for me and my advisor made everything worse by just making me realize how i have no clue what the fuck i am doing.

so.. i spent the rest of the day bugging out. I'm really worried I will end up transferring again which would be a huge pain in the ass especially because i really like dvc and living in doylestown with my two roommates. but what if i can't settle with a major at dvc? do i settle for something i only kind of like or do i transfer... again... and lose credits and be in school until i'm 30. my first reason for transferring to dvc was because i thought i'd find a major but i feel like every second i am changing my mind and nothing seems to be working out.

i guess i'm just trying to figure out my future and coming up with absolutely nothing. it's kind of bullshit though am i honestly supposed to figure out what i want to do for the rest of my life at 20? I sure hope not.

Friday, October 2, 2009

slackin

I feel like I've been majorly slacking with the blog updates. I really have nothing to say!
My birthday was last weekend. It was a REALLY good birthday. consisted of lots of good food, friends and family, and my brother getting lost in brooklyn... but thats a long story.

it's 245 on Friday and I'm tiredddd. Tonight my grandparents want to take me out to dinner, which is nice. Theyre really cute old people... sometimes old people are really scary. After dinner I am going to my older sister's house. Shes having a big BBQ tomorrow and she wants me there briiiigggghtttt and early to help set up.

I dont think I love anything more than a BBQ. it's just the best food in my opinion.

my roommate is currently watching project runway. I feel bad because I always go home on weekends instead of spending it with my roommates. Well my one roommate sophie is from vermont and always stays here in doylestown obviously but my other roommate elyse always goes home to CT so sophie is just left alone all the time. I feel bad but i'm sure she keeps herself entertained.

I watched a documentary last night on that neglected girl from the 70's named Genie. The one who was isolated in a room for 10 years of her life and was found at 13.. I have read a lot on her but watching the documentary was so crazy being able to put a face to the name. Seeing what can happen with no human contact can have on someone is crazy. It was just kind of disturbing i guess. It makes me really sad watching her life story and how she ended up just dying in a mental hospital because no one could fund her recovery anymore. So ... thats uplifting.

I need to nap and not blog.